CAN I EVER TRUST HER AGAIN?

I have been engaged for two years to a girl I have known for a decade. We recently bought a house together, so I was devastated when I learnt she had been having an affair with a colleague.

I asked her to leave but we were in lockdown so she couldn’t.

Also read: I can't stop dreaming about my exes

We had several tense months and she kept begging me to let her stay as the affair was over.

I still love her very much, but I feel terribly hurt and don’t see how I can trust her again.

FIONA SAYS: UNDERSTAND THE UNDERLYING ISSUES - AND YOU MIGHT HAVE A FUTURE

You say you still love her so finishing your relationship is going to hurt you a lot.

If you carry on as you are though, you’re still going to struggle to trust her, so surely it would be better to try and find out why the affair happened rather than finish things.

Everyone makes a mistake sometimes but the only thing to do with mistakes is accept that they happen and then learn from them.

You have accepted you love your fiancee, in spite of your hurt feelings, but your relationship will not work until you can forgive the affair and reach a better understanding.

For things to improve, you need to work out what went wrong and put it right.

I’M STRUGGLING TO COPE AFTER HAVING A BABY

I held down a substantial career and was always highly thought of as I took responsibility for international divisions of my company.

I could never understand why women made so much fuss about having a baby yet here I am, three months later, so tired, drained, and exhausted that some days I don’t manage to get dressed until late afternoon!

I spend much of my time in tears and feel as if I just can’t cope with it all. I feel hopeless.

FIONA SAYS: IT’S OK TO FEEL OVERWHELMED

You are not hopeless you’re just a perfectly normal, new mother!

Although they won’t all have held down such high-flying careers before having a baby, I’m pretty certain that about 75% of mums reading this will understand exactly how you feel.

You, I’m sure, are used to office-like routines and people around you taking control of their own actions. Babies just aren’t like that, as you’ve realised.

Tears could indicate post-natal depression. Do please consider talking to your doctor about this.

In time you will establish routines of your own with your baby and you’ll feel more in control.

Email help@askfiona.net for advice.